Forgotten No More
by RAC
Summary: When Xander finally takes the time to mourn Anya, he begins to be haunted by someone else from his past - Jesse.


****

Forgotten No More

Xander's entire body stiffened as he felt someone climb into bed with him. His mind raced, trying to recall whether or not he had locked the door. A hand touched him on the hip, and he rolled over to see who had invaded his bed. His eyes grew wide when he recognized the woman staring down at him.

"Anya!" he exclaimed as he tried to sit up, hitting his head against hers in the process.

"Ow!" she cried. She started to rub her head. "That hurts! What is wrong with you?"

"I…" said Xander, not sure he could believe what he was seeing. "I… I wasn't expecting you."

"Who were you expecting?" she asked.

"No one!" he said quickly. "I mean… You died."

"No I didn't," said Anya as she shook her head. "I'm sure I'd remember something like that."

Xander sat up and leaned against the headboard. He just stared at her, wondering what was happening. He looked around the room. Since he wasn't in his apartment, and he definitely wasn't at Buffy's house, he knew he was no longer in Sunnydale. The reason he had left Sunnydale was because it no longer existed. From what he was told, Anya had perished in the final battle against The First, which had destroyed the town. He was sure of it. And yet… She was sitting there on the bed, right beside him. He reached out and touched her again, just to be certain.

"You… You're real," he gasped, still not understanding what was happening. 

"Of course I'm real," replied Anya, with more than a hint of annoyance.

"But… Andrew said you died," he told her.

"Well, what are you going to believe, something that Andrew told you," she asked as she pressed herself against him, "or your own body?"

"He'll forget all about you," said a male voice. Anya and Xander both jumped.

"Who's there?" asked Anya.

"Show yourself," demanded Xander, with more bravado than he thought he had. There was silence in the room for a moment. Then, a figure stepped out from the shadows. It was a teenage boy.

"Who are you?" asked Anya as she stared at the person standing at the foot of the bed. She was confused as much by what he had said as his presence. What he said next confused her even more.

"He knows," said the boy, as he pointed to Xander. "Or at least, he used to. Before he forgot all about me. Just like he will do to you."

"What?" asked Anya. "Who is this guy, and what is he talking about?" she asked as she turned and looked at the man in bed with her. Xander, now very pale, was staring at the figure standing at the foot of the bed. His eyes were wide, and his mouth moved but no words came out. Anya reached out, placing her hand a few inches in front of Xander's face, and snapped her fingers.

"Jesse," gasped Xander, his voice barely more than a whisper.

***

"Xander? Are you okay?" Giles asked, as he gently shook the man sleeping in his office.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just… Just a bad dream. It was about Anya," answered Xander as he shook his head. Then, he looked around the office, trying to remember where he was. He had been trying to work nonstop since he had left Sunnydale, and often had to stop and think about where he was and why he was there. He remembered bringing another Slayer to London, and that Giles wanted to talk to him before he went after the next one. He had found the office, but discovered that the Watcher wasn't there. Deciding to wait in the office, Xander sat in the chair and… He must have dozed off. 

"Are you sure you are okay?" asked Giles. His voice betrayed his emotions, telling Xander that the Watcher was worried.

"Actually," said Xander, "I don't think I am. Do you remember Jesse?" The look that appeared on Giles's face told Xander that the older man definitely remembered. There was something else there, too. Something Xander never thought he would see on the Watcher's face: guilt.

"I… Uh…" stammered Giles. He cleared his throat. "Yes. I remember. Uh, why do you ask?"

"I've been dreaming about him," explained Xander. "But, I don't understand why I would start dreaming about him now. It doesn't make sense."

  
"Then you haven't remembered everything," said Giles. Realizing what he had just said, Giles waited to see what Xander would say next.

"_Everything_?" he asked, not sure what Giles could mean.

"Um… Never mind. It isn't important," said Giles. To change the subject, he added, "I… I'll check my files and see where to send you next. But… Why don't you stay here in London tonight? You can stay at my flat." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys, handing them to Xander. "Do you remember the address?"

"Yeah," answered Xander as he took the keys. "Thanks."

"Think nothing of it," Giles responded. He then turned his attention to his computer. Xander turned and left the office. As soon as he was out of sight, Giles picked up the phone and dialed a number. After a couple of seconds, he spoke to the person on the other end.

"I need your help," he said into the phone. "The spell is wearing off. We need to strengthen it as soon as possible. No. It is just the boy. Thanks."

***

Xander walked through the apartment, wondering what had changed since the last time he had been there. The only difference he really noticed was the computer that sat on a desk in the den. Considering what Giles said about computers while they were in Sunnydale, it was one of the last things that Xander ever expected to see in Giles's private residence. 

He discovered that the guestroom was the same as it had been the last time he was there, and that the linens were still kept in the same closet. It felt nice to be in a place where he could help himself to things. After all the time spent in motels and hostels, it was a relief to have a private bathroom that was not only large and spacious, but also quiet. Trying to relax, he settled into the hot water and leaned back against the edge of the tub.

A pounding on the bathroom door caused him to sit up. The water was still hot, so Xander knew that he could not have been sleeping for very long. He just sat there for a moment, trying to clear his head. He didn't know whether to just sit there and yell or get up and answer the door. The pounding came again. With a sigh, he got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist. He had just reached for the knob when the door opened.

"Xander," said Jesse, as he stepped into the bathroom. "We need to talk."

"Huh?" asked Xander. "Why do we need to talk?"

"Because, you need to remember. And fast," explained Jesse.

"Remember what? I know we went to the same school, and that you got turned into a vampire," said Xander. "I staked you. What's to remember?"

"How about what _really _happened?" asked Jesse. "You interested in remembering that?"

"Sure. Make me remember," Xander sighed. Jesse reached out and touched Xander on his forehead. Xander fell to the floor, clutching his head and screaming.

***

"What do you mean 'it didn't work'? How could it not work?" demanded Giles. He was standing behind his desk, screaming into the receiver. He looked up when the door opened, and immediately dropped the receiver. He barely had time to form a thought before Xander had him by the throat.

"What the hell gives you the right?" Xander hissed. "You just deleted him from my mind!"

"Xander, I…" choked Giles. Xander shoved him back. Giles massaged his throat as he looked up at the younger man. The hatred in Xander's eyes shocked the Watcher. "I did what I felt I had to do. You weren't ready to deal with something like that!"

  
"So, you just got rid of him? He was my _best friend_, Giles!" screamed Xander.

"I know," admitted Giles. He lowered his head and stared at the floor. "You weren't supposed to remember."

  
"That is supposed to make it okay?" Xander yelled.

"No," answered Giles. "I was hoping I would never have to explain. You obviously remember Jesse now. Do you remember what you and Willow were like, before I had that spell cast on you?"

  
"What? Me and Willow? I… I don't understand," admitted Xander. "What does Willow have to do with any of this?"

"You and Willow grew depressed and couldn't do much of anything after Jesse died. You started missing school and even had to seek counseling," explained Giles. "I couldn't stand what it was doing to you, so I had the coven cast a spell on the two of you. It-it must have been Anya's death that caused you to remember."

"But, if Anya's death caused _me_ to remember, then… Shouldn't Tara's death have caused Willow to remember?" asked Xander, now confused instead of angry.

"When Tara was killed, Willow turned to vengeance. She didn't take the time to properly mourn Tara," explained Giles. "By the time she had been stopped, the coven was able to strengthen the spell on her. Most likely, she will never remember what happened now."

"I see. I think," said Xander.

"So," began Giles. "You understand. Good." He was silent for a moment, then asked: "Does this mean that things between you and me are…good?"

"Far from it, Giles," said Xander, frowning. "I can't trust you. I may never trust you again. You messed with my mind, and the mind of one of my best friends. You made us _forget_ someone who had been a part of our lives since kindergarten. I can't work for someone I don't trust."

"So, what happens now?" Giles wondered.

"I'm leaving. Don't try to contact me again," declared Xander as he stood up and walked to the door.

"So, that's it? There is nothing left to say?" asked Giles, staring down at his hands, afraid to look at Xander.

"Well, there is one more thing," added Xander. He stood still for a moment, just holding the door open. Giles looked up at him, hopeful. His eyes grew dim and he seemed to crumble in his seat when Xander spoke again: "Go to hell." 

Then, Xander walked out of the office, slamming the door behind him.


End file.
